We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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