she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
