I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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