but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
