how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize