Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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