Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
