i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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