Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Of course I have a pirate flag
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
