Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
