Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
