sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
