there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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