i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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