check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
