I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
