Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't turn off my feet"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
did you just send me my own nude
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
