lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
