All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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