giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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