I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
