she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
