It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
