There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
