Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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