I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
