Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Let's get the cat blown out
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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