I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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