i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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