I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so that wasnt chicken after all
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
