Tell her she can't have a vagina
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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