So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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