Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
