i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's just like the Real World with babies
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
