honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
