There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
