you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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