you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you didnt know i had herpes?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize