no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Boobs speak an international language.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Randomize
