she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize