I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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