Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
