I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
