i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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