you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
