Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
