She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
