Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
