Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night

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(727): View more from Florida

If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"

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(207): View more from Maine

it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times

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(248): View more from Michigan

It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.

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(706): View more from Georgia

It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?

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(951): View more from California

Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.

(1-951): View more from California

Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.

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(317): View more from Indiana

We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies

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