Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
