we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
