I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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