I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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