she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Someone signed my nipple.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize