I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
