i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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