I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
