that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
