"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
