She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize