i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
