If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
