I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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